So I’m sitting in Madison Square Park enjoying my Jamba Juice and the ice cold bitterment of sitting in Madison Square Park because I have no job, when an old man in an electric wheelchair rolls up next to me.
“Do you mind watching this for me while I go to the bathroom?” he asked as he hustled away before he heard my slow and awkward response of “Sure?”
Two thoughts: If you’re in a wheelchair, why are you walking to the bathroom? And where are you going to the bathroom in the middle of a park?
Oh well. Back to my Jamba.
Then the wheelchair takes off. It bursts into the oncoming crowd and spins in circles around park passerbys.
“UM what am I supposed to do with that?!” I say to the woman nose deep in her novel next to me.
Oh well, at least no one is going to steal a wheelchair if it’s defective and running people over. So there I sat.
All of a sudden I look up and see a suspiciously full stroller pushed by a stationary woman. And a park cleaner with a suspiciously full crate also standing diagonally from her. As I glanced from woman to park cleaner I saw a similar feature: a giant black camera lens gazes upon me.
So now this is the time for Ashton to pop out and say I’ve been punk’d right? Or is this just a creepy New York thing I don’t know about?
After what seemed like forever, finally a man with a clipboard approaches me and asks me to sign a release. Well, that was anti-climatic!
He explained he worked for Betty White’s new show “Off Your Rocker” where old people do stupid things and people react to them on hidden camera, airing in February. I complied and laughed it off.
“Only in New York!” I thought.
And that’s when it hit me: I just got punk’d by Betty White.
Fresh. Off. The. Boat.
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